Monthly Archives: April 2008

To celebrate the beautiful democracy that is the internet, I have decided to start a little project. Beginning today, I’m going to post one sentence into an article on everyone’s favourite right-wing user-edited wiki-based encyclopedia, affectionately known as Conservapedia. Edits will be made on a semi-regular basis, and I plan for the edits to be just plausible enough that they might slip below the radar. The goal is to see how long it takes for my edits to be removed and how long I can keep it up before being removed as a contributor. I will keep you updated as this highly unscientific experiment continues. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!

Now, despite my apparent support for censoring certain speech due to my inherent Liberal Bias, in the interest of freedom of expression I will not remove any passages from the encyclopedia.

Edit number one: As of April 27, 2008, 09:30 EDT, the entry for Feminist Style now includes a line that reads, “lack of a healthy fear of the word ‘vagina’.”

UPDATE: Edit removed as of April 27, 2008, 13:00 EDT. These guys are on the ball! Removed by this guy.

UPDATE TWO: Apparently I was also banned from editing for 5 years for that sentence. Now THAT is a healthy fear of the word “vagina.” This occured at 12:59 EDT, meaning I lasted a whopping 3 hours and 29 minutes. A stand-up demonstration of the wiki model.

Well, this is going to be another stopgap. I was worse at keeping up on this than I thought I would be.

Anyway, I made up a modest little nerd rap remix, mostly just using the stock loops, and some cutting and pasting of the mp3 files. I tried to include a bit of all my favourites, although because I’m lazy, some didn’t make the cut. I also selfishly included my own rap, and my sister’s as well. So there.

Nerd Rap Battle – Funky Beat Remix

Well, it’s been busy my friends. I’ll have more stuff to write about in due time, especially once my quantum project is done and I climb the CN Tower tomorrow!

So, in the meantime, I will post my submissions to the youngme/nowme challenge for colour wars, where I attempted to recreate a childhood photo with my current self. Let me know how it went!

Hands up: who here knows that Gary Coleman used to be on a TV show called “Diff’rent Strokes”? That’s right; Coleman, now better known as a highly respected music historian, used to be known for appearing in the long running sitcom and uttering the popular catch-phrase “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” Since publishing the wildly influential beEThoven: Classicism and the Search for Alien Life ten years ago, his current influence in the musical sphere has eclipsed his former child-star fame. The book quickly established Coleman as one of today’s leading experts on classical composers and has been followed by three more bestselling books on musical history. Coleman is now poised to enter the realm of popular music and society by cowriting a new book with Kelis entitled Lactose Intolerance: Milkshake’s Subversion of Race and Gender Discrimination, set to be released May 5.

Kelis, famous in her own right for the critically acclaimed song Milkshake, originally contacted Coleman with the idea for the book. “Milkshake has received a lot of positive attention, first from the critics and fans, but eventually human rights activists took notice,” says Kelis, speaking from her New York home. “Sweeping the Grammys that year was another great accomplishment, but once we were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, I really had accomplished what I set out to do with this song.” Despite losing the Nobel to the United Nations and the successful Oil-For-Food programme, publishers were still in pursuit of the 28-year-old R&B singer to bring the story to print. “After all this, I really wanted to spread the word about the positive aspects of the single, and a book was a great way to keep the legacy going. Gary was just a perfect choice to work with. I don’t think I would have followed through without his support.”

Coleman says he was excited to work on the project from day one. “I’ve been looking for the right way to start writing about current music and society, and the story of Milkshake was a fantastic way to start,” said the 40-year-old writer after an advance reading in London. “So few artists have managed to so vastly change the social fabric of the industrialised world like Kelis, and Milkshake is really the classical music of its day.”

From its release, critics were quick to praise the single for its intelligent commentary on both race and gender. Most writers were unanimous in the complex beat and hooky structure which instantly drew in listeners. “There was some great production and writing involved in the song,” says Kelis, “but most people were quick to pick up that it wasn’t Milkshake quality that brought all those boys to the yard. It was the different flavours rising up against the dominance of vanilla. I feel most minorities found it quite empowering to see the lesser flavours winning over Caucasian dominance. There was an inspirational message to this song that really helped to break down racial barriers.”

Coleman agrees. “This song did more to eliminate inequalities than any government program could hope to do. Because not only did the song inspire, it showed the establishment how ridiculous it was to still have racial inequalities.” He is quick to point out that the song was empowering to women as well. “Emphasising that milk, a traditionally feminine product, could to bring all the boys to the yard, really gave the stagnating feminist movement the shot in the arm it needed.”

The song inspired massive social change in the west. Hundreds of thousands began to gather in peaceful protest demanding the end of racial and gender inequality. The result was a successful grassroots campaign, where the people of the Western world banded together for true change that couldn’t be accomplished by legislation. While incredible progress has been made (Coleman believes the song created the necessary social climate for the co-operative Democratic campaign in the United States between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton), small inequalities still remain. Kelis remains optimistic, however. “If we nearly eliminated these inequities in all of four years, with the momentum still on our side it could be within a year that, at least statistically, all races and both genders in America are the same. Maybe in ten years, it will be the world.”

The book is Coleman’s best to date, containing a great deal of insight and his trademark wit, and should introduce him to an even wider audience with its greater focus on pop culture. Where does he expect to go from here? “I’m interested into moving into other forms of media. Kelis and I plan to collaborate on a new single called ‘Gonna Get Your Bling’. It will focus more on socioeconomics and the income gap, and we hope that it will be as successful as Milkshake in evoking change.” Is it just pipe dream? “Well, maybe it will only benefit my socioecomic status,” Coleman laughs, “but one thing I have learned in this project is that change truly can be accomplished in just one song. I’m optimistic.”

As I fall asleep at my desk waiting for some air flow controllers to warm up, I figured I might as well write something to keep me awake. It’s been a busy last couple of days between assignments, getting the research projects going, and marking. Somewhere in there I saw a fantastic concert featuring Okkervil River and the New Pornographers, who seem to get a little bit better each time I see them, played some ultimate frisbee, and watched the last 10 minutes of a losing effort on the part of the Flames. So, I’m a tad tired.

So, on to the point of this post. I don’t plan on writing a sappy entry on how nice it is to keep in touch with people, or how heartwarming it is to see someone you haven’t seen for quite sometime. I had lunch today at Salad King, one of Toronto’s most unfortunately named Thai restaurants, with a high school friend who I haven’t seen in maybe 3 or 4 years. She moved out to Toronto about 2 years back, and somehow in the almost 8 months I’ve been here this is the first time we’ve gotten in touch. It was a good visit, but it struck me how easy it was to get back into things despite how much has changed for both of us. As that train of thought got further into its journey, I wondered… why is it that some people you can pick up with as if you saw them yesterday, while with others the conversation can be so awkward that it was probably best to leave it as is? Is it easier the less people have changed, or harder? 

I tend to think that its hardest when one person stays put while the other has moved on. I find that on many fronts there is something strangely unsettling about that combination – a bizarre combination of guilt, impatience, nostalgia and frustration somewhat akin to cooking experimentation gone horribly wrong. It’s that meal that you eat, even though it tastes somewhat terrible, because throwing it out would be such a waste of food, time and effort.

EDIT: speaking of the New Porngraphers, this song was, as always, one of the highlights of the show. With Neko Case’s wonderful vocals, and the “O-la-o-la-o-la-o-la” refrain in four-part harmony, this song is killer. Watch the video… I’m a huge fan of the vibrant melting colours, the deadpan facial expressions, and the “let’s pose for an old-timey portrait!” feel.

 

In an effort to keep the material somewhat fresh for the first couple of days, I thought I would share something else. I’ve recently gotten caught up in this incredibly pointless but oddly fun thing called colorwars. I won’t go into an explanation as to what it is, as you can figure it out the way I did with a few google searches and a Twitter account. But, I will say one thing: I find it absolutely fascinating how it’s possible to interact with complete strangers over the internet and collaborate on things I never thought possible.

Case in point: a little ditty I like to call “Pork Rap”. Part of the “nerd rap battle”, Pork Rap incorporates everyone’s favourite stereotypes about the musical genre: misogyny, violence, sexual innuendo, posses, drugs, diseases related to doing misogynistic things, and pork-related products. I can honestly say that this wasn’t something I ever expected to exist, let alone make myself. Enjoy!

http://tinyurl.com/6hnnrw

So, I decided to start a blog. Why is that, you ask? Do I feel like what I say is important? Do I even think people want to read what I have to say? The answer, for both questions, is no. Is it because I am a self-serving narcissist? Maybe. Whatever the reason, and despite having openly mocked people with blogs in the past, it’s made. We’ll see how long she lasts.

Basically, I’m coming to two realisations. One is that I don’t write enough, and when I do write, it’s always science-y stuff. I miss writing for an audience that doesn’t care about, taking examples from recent classes, how hydrogen peroxide is produced in the lungs, or if SPME is a good way of sampling water samples for bisphenol A. There’s an art to that kind of writing, but I don’t want to lose the art of writing in a relaxed, conversational style of which journal articles are so painfully devoid.

The second realisation is that I don’t keep in touch with people very well. I figured that a blog would be a good way to exercise the writing muscles and keep up with people who live in other parts of the country and the world, hopefully without adding too much to the flotsam of the internet by detailing what I ate for breakfast. It’s writing an open letter, if you will, to anyone who cares to read it. Just thoughts, musings, events, and the like.

So to start out: it’s spring. Glorious springtime. The sun is out, I’m happy, and, more importantly, Toronto seems to have at least momentarily awaken from its winter funk. I rode my bike along the waterfront and saw people and families out smiling, laughing, and enjoying the warmth. And who cares if the weekend is going to be cold? I’m choosing just to take it as it is, rather than be brought down with what’s coming.

Oh, and the photo above is from Jasper, and is completely unrelated to everything. I just liked the photo and it happened to be on this computer.